Palm Beach Gardens
Relief in sight: Having stolen a pair of glasses from a store inside a shopping complex in the 3100 block of PGA Boulevard, a woman was seen walking out of the development by a police officer. Though at no time is it legal to just squat and have a bathroom break in public, when you've got to go, you've got to go. The woman, who apparently had to go, dropped down and had her own little rest stop in the parking lot. With her bladder evacuated she got into her car and began her escape. Though the business had stated it did not wish to prosecute, the officer followed the woman as she drove away. Once behind the wheel, the woman failed to yield at a stop sign and swerved into oncoming traffic. She was pulled over. Informed of why she was stopped, the officer then asked for the stolen glasses. She handed them over. She was given verbal warnings for the traffic offenses and issued an 18-month trespass warning for the area, while the stolen glasses were returned to the store.
Letter imperfect: Traveling nearly 30 mph over the posted speed limit, a motorist was pulled over on Alternate A1A. Explaining to the officer that he'd been at a wedding, he claimed that he'd had "literally, barely nothing" when asked how much he'd had to drink. With glassy eyes, slurred speech and the smell of alcohol on his breath, he agreed to take part in a roadside sobriety test. Reaching the Rhomberg Alphabet portion of the test, the wheels hadn't come off his performance just yet, but they began getting extra wobbly. In his first attempt, he left out 10 letters and stated "I just feel so nervous man." His second test was much better, but "much better" as in he was closer but still missed the target: He left out only three letters on that rendition. He was later arrested for DUI. Tested at the BAT center, his breath showed he was more than twice the legal limit.
No way to drive: Pulled over near the intersection of PGA Boulevard and Prosperity Farms Road for driving a vehicle with a license plate that was not assigned to it, a motorist claimed he'd only recently purchased the car. He was able to produce a hand-written bill of sale. Asked whether he had anything illegal inside the vehicle, the man said he'd recently purchased a small amount of hemp at a gas station. Though normally it's the third time that's the charm, the man was asked a second time if there was anything illegal in the car. Bingo! The man admitted to having a baggie filled with white powder. Though he did not specify that it was cocaine, bingo again, that's what it was. He was arrested for drug possession and was taken to jail.
Clean getaway: Dressed completely in black, including his hat, face mask, shirt, shorts, socks and slides, a man walked into a store in the 4200 block of Northlake Boulevard. Once inside he selected a cart and kicked his routine into overdrive. In approximately five minutes, the man in black had loaded up nearly $275 worth of detergent pods and was pushing the cart out of the store without paying. Once in the parking lot, he met up with his co-conspirator and they loaded the stolen cleaning products into a car and then drove off. The entire incident was captured on video. The manager said if the perpetrators are caught that the store would prosecute.
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West Palm Beach
Clean getaway, V. 2: Taking six bottles of bleach-infused cleaning spray into the bathroom inside a business in the 300 block of Rosemary Avenue, a man likely had no intention of cleaning the store's facilities. Instead, he exited the bathroom and then the store itself with the six bottles concealed in a bag. Though he got out, his freedom and dreams of cleaning were short lived as he was caught riding his bicycle in the 200 block of Quadrille Boulevard. He was positively identified, arrested and the merchandise recovered.
Dastardly duo: In their own version of Bonnie and Clyde, a woman and a man entered a store in the 1700 block of Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard and got busy. After approximately 10 minutes inside the woman walked out clutching a large bag that was believed to be filled with stolen merchandise. A bit more brazen in his approach, the man then grabbed numerous dresses and sweat shirts before running out of the store. With alarms sounding, "Clyde" was seen running north and then hopping into a waiting vehicle near the valet area. This is the same area "Bonnie" was seen walking toward with her bag of goodies. The entire incident was captured on surveillance video inside and outside the store. It was estimated that the pair made off with over $1,000 in merchandise.
Yard yellers: Upset because their backyard was full of "garbage," a woman got into an argument with a man in the 4400 block of North Terrace Drive. Upset over being told to clean up the yard, the man said he worked five days a week and would do it on the weekend when he had time. The pair then settled down. It was unclear whether the yard was ever cleaned.
Displeasing deed: Standing in front a business in the 400 block of West Lantana Road, a man was seen "treating his body like an amusement park" around lunch time. Though several eyewitnesses claimed to have witnessed the man pleasuring himself, he claimed he was only exposing his genitalia while urinating in front of the business ... as if that was OK. He was arrested for indecent exposure and lewd/lascivious act. He was deposited at the county jail.
Auto attacker: Parked outside a motel the 1300 block of West Lantana Road, a woman's vehicle was the target of vandalism. Woman said she caught her long-time partner in the act of scratching the passenger side of the vehicle and chased after her. She said she lost sight of her vehicle shortly after she fled the hotel parking lot. The woman said she wanted the incident documented, but declined to pursue criminal charges.
Caught in the act: Awakened by a chime from his RING doorbell camera, a man walked out of his residence in the 600 block of South Lake Drive to find an individual inside his vehicle. Confronted by the victim, the shocked perpetrator, who may or may not have let out a high-pitched squeal, ran south. Though the truck was rummaged through, the victim did not wish to pursue charges and only wanted the incident documented.
Chair lifter: Approaching two folding chairs that were near the dumpster of a business in the 900 block of Hypoluxo Road, a man attempted to steal them. The potential perpetrator was advised to leave the chairs alone and get off the property. He complied ... for a day. The man returned the next day, grabbed the chairs, loaded them into his car and drove away. The chairs were valued at $20 each. The theft was captured by surveillance cameras. The cameras also captured the make and model of the vehicle as well as the license plate number. Attempts to contact the man were negative at the time of the report.
Spirit stealer: Perusing the merchandise at a store in the 1200 block of Hypoluxo Road specializing in the intoxicating beverages, a man settled on a particular bottle of liquor. Rather go through the hassle of actually standing in line and paying for the merchandise, the man skipped the queue, as well as the payment portion of the transaction, and simply walked out. Though likely thinking himself quite sly and maybe looking forward the good times to come, the man was in for a shock when the worker who witnessed the theft decided to take action. The employee chased the man down the street and only lost him after he ran inside a nearby hotel. In addition to providing police with a description of the perp, the employee managed to take a picture of the thief. Though police searched the hotel property, the man had escaped.
Public consumption: Wearing no shirt or shoes, a man was removed from a property in the 1400 block of West Lantana Road. Though witnesses say he exposed his genitalia, police discovered the man in a public area drinking a high-alcohol-content beer. The man was arrested and later transported to jail.
Compiled by Eddie Ritz from law enforcement records.
This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: Weird News: Shoplifter turns parking lot into lavatory during her escape